The Wonderful Rewards Of Giving Praise

“Hi, Colin, come on in. Did you practice this week?”

“Not really.”

“Oh, well…. Let’s turn to page 35 in your piano book… ‘The Cowboy Song.’”

So Colin plays the Cowboy Song. He might get the notes and the rhythm wrong, but there is one thing he will always get right- dynamics. This goes back to an incident several months ago....

“Alright, let’s turn to page 15. Can you play ‘Willie and Tillie’ for me?”

And so he plays.

“Wow! That was great! The best thing you did in that song was dynamics! You played softly when you were supposed to, and when you got to the loud part you woke me back up! Great job on dynamics.”

Ever since that day dynamics has been Colin’s specialty. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but that little bit of praise- which he rightly deserved- certainly inspired him. Now he even corrects ME with dynamics!

Praise is a wonderful tool to motivate and encourage others. When you praise someone, they make that their “specialty” and strive to do even better in that area. For example, if you praise your sister for her joyfulness, she will try to be even more joyful!

The Bible tells us many times to speak words which edify and build others up.

“Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do” (I Thessalonians 5:11).

“Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another” (Romans 14:19).

“And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works” (Hebrews 10:24).

Praise vs. Criticism
As you probably know, it is far easier to criticize than it is to praise. We naturally criticize others but it takes extra effort to praise.

Often we will criticize others when we are feeling irritated. “Can’t you just be nice for once?” “You are so rude.” “You are so lazy.” You get the idea. Certainly there is a place for gentle, loving criticism (Matthew 18:15). But it must be done very carefully and humbly (see Matthew 7:1-6).

If we criticize in an unloving way (which is how we do it most of the time!) we are tearing others down. We must build them up! We must inspire them to seek the Lord and His character. We must let them know how we appreciate them and how we are thankful for them. Otherwise they will grow weary and downtrodden.

Praising others requires alertness and attentiveness on our part. We often take for granted or simply overlook the times when those around us do do well. We must be watching eagerly for opportunities to praise or else we will lose them.

Praising others also requires humility. We need to be willing to admit when they do well, especially when they do even better than we do. Praising others is also a great way to end or prevent arguments. It especially requires humility to admit their good points when you are irritated with their bad ones!

Aim to praise ten times more than you criticize.

Praise vs. Flattery
We certainly don’t want to give any place to flattery, which the Bible very often condemns (Psalm 5:9, Proverbs 6:24, Job 17:5). Sometimes we hold back from praising others because we don’t want to flatter them or puff them up. But praise is very different from flattery.

First, praise is sincere. Flattery is often given with an ulterior motive other than encouraging the other person. When we praise someone, we really mean it and our own purpose in telling them so is because we want to encourage them in the Lord.

Secondly, flattery is aimed at the outward appearance- “You are so gorgeous!” This really doesn’t encourage the other person in the Lord, and in fact, it’s hardly even a compliment. We can not do anything about our outward appearance, but we can work to develop inward beauty. Praise is directed to inward, Christlike character qualities- “I really appreciate your patience with your little brother” or “That was very compassionate of you to do that.”

How Can I Praise?
Some examples for praising would be:

“Wow, you did a great job sweeping the floor! That was very diligent work.”

“Thank you for your kind hospitality!”

“That was so thoughtful of you to say that.”

“You were so patient with that difficult situation.”

When you praise others, be enthusiastic. Show them that you are pleased and excited! Tell them specifically how you appreciated them.

It is also a wonderful idea to deflect praise when you are praised. For example, when someone compliments you for baking a special dish, you could say “Thank you! My mother taught me how to do that” or “I couldn’t have done it without so-and-so.”

What If I Can’t Think Of Anything To Praise?!

Sometimes certain people are harder to praise than others. :) We must be especially attentive with these people!

Every negative trait is a positive trait misused. For example, someone we would consider too gushy and sentimental is misusing the character quality of compassion. Someone who is possessive would be misusing the character quality of loyalty. Someone who is blunt would be misusing the quality of honesty. Someone who is stubborn would be misusing the quality of resourcefulness.

We need to learn to discern the positive qualities disguised in negative traits.

God bless you as you seek to build up those around you!

~posted by Jenny